I went to a tent store. "What kind of tent do you need?" "Circus."

How does a sesame seed stick to a bun? That's magical. There must be some sesame seed glue out there. Either that or they're adhesive on one side. Peel off the backing, place it on the bun.

I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs.

It's weird... people say they're not like apes. Now how do you explain football then?

When I was on acid, I would see things like beams of light and I would hear sounds that sounded an awful lot like car horns.

I went to the store and bought eight apples; the clerk said, "Do you want these in a bag?" I said, "Oh, no, man, I juggle."

I went to the park and saw this kid flying a kite. The kid was really excited. I don't know why, that's what they're supposed to do. Now if he had had a chair on the other end of that string, I would have been impressed.