My girlfriend works at Hooters. In the kitchen.
I'm not into sports. I mean...I like Gatorade, but that's as far as it goes.
Every McDonald's commercial ends the same way: Prices and participation may vary. I wanna open a McDonald's and not participate in anything. I wanna be a stubborn McDonald's owner. "Cheeseburgers?" "Nope! We got spaghetti, and blankets."
I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle.
I put fruit on top of my waffles, because I want something to brush off.
Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.