I find a duck's opinion of me is very much influenced by whether or not I have bread.

Hell, yeah! Meeting adjourned!

I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.

I would imagine the inside of a bottle of cleaning fluid is really clean. I would imagine a vodka bottle is really drunk.

I don't think stand-up is being appreciated as much as it could be and I don't think it has for a long time. There's some great stand-up comics who come to a town and if they're not a name, they don't attract a crowd but in reality there are brilliant people out there.

No, I was just good at holding ice cream cones.

I want to be a rebellious McDonald's owner. Cheeseburgers... NOPE... we got spaghetti!