Love is like playing checkers. You have to know which man to move.
[On old age:] You wake up one morning and you got it.
Advice to children crossing the street: damn the lights. Watch the cars. The lights ain't never killed nobody.
My husband was so ugly, he used to stand outside the doctor’s office and make people sick.
It's no disgrace to be old. But damn if it isn't inconvenient.
Ain't nothin' an ol' man can do but bring me a message from a young one.