If you don't want your children to know the truth about life don't send 'em to the theater to see Moms 'cause I'm gonna tell them THE TRUTH, hear?

My husband was so ugly, he used to stand outside the doctor’s office and make people sick.

Honey, that Totie Fields is one well-fed white woman. When that gal sits around the house, she sits around the house!

[On old age:] You wake up one morning and you got it.

I don't want nothing old but some old money. Buy me some young ideas. That's what I'm gonna do with it.

Advice to children crossing the street: damn the lights. Watch the cars. The lights ain't never killed nobody.

You know Moms has been accused of liking young men, and I'm guilty.