Advice to children crossing the street: damn the lights. Watch the cars. The lights ain't never killed nobody.

It's no disgrace to be old. But damn if it isn't inconvenient.

You know Moms has been accused of liking young men, and I'm guilty.

I don't want nothing old but some old money. Buy me some young ideas. That's what I'm gonna do with it.

[On turning down an invitation to appear for four minutes on the Ed Sullivan Show:] Honey, it takes Moms four minutes just to get on the stage.

Use those brains that God put in your head.

Honey, that Totie Fields is one well-fed white woman. When that gal sits around the house, she sits around the house!