My husband was so ugly, he used to stand outside the doctorโs office and make people sick.
Use those brains that God put in your head.
It's no disgrace to be old. But damn if it isn't inconvenient.
[On turning down an invitation to appear for four minutes on the Ed Sullivan Show:] Honey, it takes Moms four minutes just to get on the stage.
A woman is a woman until the day she dies, but a man's man only as long as he can
Anytime you see me with my arms around an old man, I'm holding him for the police.