A woman is a woman until the day she dies, but a man's man only as long as he can
Use those brains that God put in your head.
[On turning down an invitation to appear for four minutes on the Ed Sullivan Show:] Honey, it takes Moms four minutes just to get on the stage.
Honey, that Totie Fields is one well-fed white woman. When that gal sits around the house, she sits around the house!
[On old age:] You wake up one morning and you got it.
My husband was so ugly, he used to stand outside the doctor’s office and make people sick.