In the forties, to get a girl you had to be a GI or a jock. In the fifties, to get a girl you had to be Jewish. In the sixties, to get a girl you had to be black. In the seventies, to get a girl you've got to be a girl.

When Obama ran, he said, We can change the world! The world: can you change it back?!

I'm not a liberal, I'm a radical!

The distance between taking social action and having the knowledge is as wide as the mouth of the Mississippi.

Professional comedians, surprisingly, have a lack of humor. They're insensitive to the insanity of our times.

Now that Obama is at war in a 3rd country, does that mean he has to give back his Nobel Peace Prize?

Television is never more false than when it's openly sincere.