I'm for capital punishment. You've got to execute people. How else are they going to learn?

Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, and Reagan couldn't tell the difference.

I don't think fascism is dying for.

Professional comedians, surprisingly, have a lack of humor. They're insensitive to the insanity of our times.

I used to go out with actresses and other female impersonators.

A political satirist's job is to draw blood. I'm not so much interested in politics as I am in overthrowing the government.

A conservative is someone who believes in reform. But not now.