I'm for capital punishment. You've got to execute people. How else are they going to learn?

I went to computer class with my Dell and I was bullied by a guy with a Mac.

If you maintain a consistent political position long enough, you'll eventually be accused of treason.

I found people looked better when they laughed

Bush is the face on the can. But who canned that soup?

Television is never more false than when it's openly sincere.

I made the mistake early in my career, when I moved to Hollywood, of being attracted to actresses. I used to go out exclusively with actresses and other female impersonators.