Everything I tell you is true, but this is factual.

Now that Obama is at war in a 3rd country, does that mean he has to give back his Nobel Peace Prize?

There are Russian spies here now. And if we're lucky, they'll steal some of our secrets and they'll be two years behind.

There's a danger our fiscal bankruptcy might overtake our moral bankruptcy.

I found people looked better when they laughed

A Yuppie is someone who believes it's courageous to eat in a restaurant that hasn't been reviewed yet.

The distance between taking social action and having the knowledge is as wide as the mouth of the Mississippi.