Reagan won because he ran against Jimmy Carter. If he ran unopposed he would have lost.

Nixon's the kind of guy that if you were drowning fifty feet off shore, he'd throw you a thirty foot rope. Then Kissinger would go on TV the next night and say that the President had met you more than half-way.

A political satirist's job is to draw blood. I'm not so much interested in politics as I am in overthrowing the government.

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas - except the drone.

Remember when movies were just good or bad, before auteurs, film festivals, and guys from USC who were the first to shoot underwater?

You know me, I love lost causes.

A Yuppie is someone who believes it's courageous to eat in a restaurant that hasn't been reviewed yet.