I took benzedrine - I got clairvoyance. With benzedrine you can have a very wide view of the world, like you can decide the destiny of man and other pressing problems, such as which is the left sock?

A conservative doesn't want anything to happen for the first time; a liberal feels it should happen, but not now.

In the forties, to get a girl you had to be a GI or a jock. In the fifties, to get a girl you had to be Jewish. In the sixties, to get a girl you had to be black. In the seventies, to get a girl you've got to be a girl.

The beat generation is a coffeehouse full of people expectantly looking at their watches waiting for the beat generation to come on.

A conservative is someone who believes in reform. But not now.

Professional comedians, surprisingly, have a lack of humor. They're insensitive to the insanity of our times.

I don't think fascism is dying for.