We claim we believe in compassion, which is an abstract, and when it's personified we discredit the man

If you can't join them, beat them.

Women want their men to be cops. They want you to punish them and tell them what the limits are. The only thing that women hate worse from a man than being slapped is when you get on your knees and say you're sorry.

I never met a man I didn't like until I met Will Rogers.

My life needs editing.

If someone were to ask me for a short cut to sensuality, I would suggest he go shopping for a used 427 Shelby-Cobra. But it is only fair to warn you that of the 300 guys who switched to them in 1966, only two went back to women.

There's so much Botox around now that you can't tell when a Jewish girl is angry!