There were four million people in the American Colonies and we had Jefferson and Franklin. Now we have over 200 million and the two top guys are Clinton and Dole. What can you draw from this? Darwin was wrong.

Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, and Reagan couldn't tell the difference.

I don't think crucifixion is the answer. I believe in the resurrection. I like that part of the story.

Women want their men to be cops. They want you to punish them and tell them what the limits are. The only thing that women hate worse from a man than being slapped is when you get on your knees and say you're sorry.

You haven't lived until you've died in California

If you maintain a consistent political position long enough, you'll eventually be accused of treason.

Those who the gods would make rich and famous on TV, they first drive mad.