Why does every flight attendant seem like they are going through a divorce?

Don't be intimidated by my outfit, it's Forever 21.

Gluten free pizza elicits the same response at a hollywood party that a pile of cocaine did in the 80's.

Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.

Bragging that you had sex with a prostitute is like bragging that you got Doritos out of a vending machine.

College seems like a pretty expensive way to become an alcoholic.

Often when you are starting out in comedy, you will find that people will laugh at the things you didn't think were funny. It's important to pay attention also to what people are laughing at when you are just talking in regular conversation. Often that is when you are truly being yourself.