TLC should stand for Toddlers, Lunatics, and Cake.

If Jesus had known that his image would end up on Justin Bieber's calf, he would've never started Christianity.

Comedy is just one of the many professions that women are taking over.

Do they give Pulitzers for tweets yet?

The idea that you're supposed to do everything on your own is absurd. You can't.

Your main contribution is spray painting your nickname on other people's things. And my cousin, who's a 'gangster', he's like, 'No, Tash, you don't understand; you throw a fat piece up there, that piece is yours.' I'm like, 'No one thinks you own Costco.'

Often when you are starting out in comedy, you will find that people will laugh at the things you didn't think were funny. It's important to pay attention also to what people are laughing at when you are just talking in regular conversation. Often that is when you are truly being yourself.