The only thing that makes me cry at weddings is the DJ's playlist.
Male comics are always coming up to me and they're like 'Hey Natasha. Don't you think you're a little attractive to be a comedian?' and I'm like 'Don't you think you're a little ugly to be talking to me?'
Why does every flight attendant seem like they are going through a divorce?
The more developed your abs, the less time you've spent reading.
Having a baby is like a DUI from the universe.
I'm not 'one of the guys.' I don't want to pretend to be one on stage. I'm not going to dress like a guy or carry myself like one.