The more developed your abs, the less time you've spent reading.

Neil Hamburger writes such cutting jokes.

Having a baby is like a DUI from the universe.

I love hard punch lines, and I like anything that has a strong point of view.

I don't see the point of watching men exercise.

My dream part would be to play Mitt Romney's sarcastic black maid. We could call it 'Mammy & Me.'

I just went home to Illinois, and I asked my family, 'Are you guys planning on talking in those accents the whole time I'm home?' And my mother said, 'You used to talk like that, too, Tasha.' And I said, 'Yes, but you see, I've reinvented myself. Do you have any idea who I think I am?'