Neil Hamburger writes such cutting jokes.

Ke$ha IS the walk of shame.

My friends who have babies can't do anything. You can't go out at night. Having a baby is like a DUI from the universe.

Bragging that you had sex with a prostitute is like bragging that you got Doritos out of a vending machine.

Male comics are always coming up to me and they're like 'Hey Natasha. Don't you think you're a little attractive to be a comedian?' and I'm like 'Don't you think you're a little ugly to be talking to me?'

Have you heard his new song? 'Cause he thinks he's a black man now.

Why does every flight attendant seem like they are going through a divorce?