Neil Hamburger writes such cutting jokes.

Male comics are always coming up to me and they're like 'Hey Natasha. Don't you think you're a little attractive to be a comedian?' and I'm like 'Don't you think you're a little ugly to be talking to me?'

I was raised Catholic in Rockford, Illinois. But I'm not a practicing Catholic anymore. Oh God, no.

College seems like a pretty expensive way to become an alcoholic.

Getting worried there might not be enough talent in America to acommodate all these singing shows.

My friends who have babies can't do anything. You can't go out at night. Having a baby is like a DUI from the universe.

I just went home to Illinois, and I asked my family, 'Are you guys planning on talking in those accents the whole time I'm home?' And my mother said, 'You used to talk like that, too, Tasha.' And I said, 'Yes, but you see, I've reinvented myself. Do you have any idea who I think I am?'