I don't see the point of watching men exercise.

In L.A., you tend to see a lot of people do very bizarre things. I love it.

My friends who have babies can't do anything. You can't go out at night. Having a baby is like a DUI from the universe.

Your main contribution is spray painting your nickname on other people's things. And my cousin, who's a 'gangster', he's like, 'No, Tash, you don't understand; you throw a fat piece up there, that piece is yours.' I'm like, 'No one thinks you own Costco.'

How are you gonna make an 'idol' from the type of person you're trying to avoid in real life?

Bragging that you had sex with a prostitute is like bragging that you got Doritos out of a vending machine.

Neil Hamburger writes such cutting jokes.