Gluten free pizza elicits the same response at a hollywood party that a pile of cocaine did in the 80's.
The more developed your abs, the less time you've spent reading.
Male comics are always coming up to me and they're like 'Hey Natasha. Don't you think you're a little attractive to be a comedian?' and I'm like 'Don't you think you're a little ugly to be talking to me?'
Have you ever noticed that your ugliest friend is most afraid of being raped?
I do think people are definitely sick of the Kardashians.
My friends who have babies can't do anything. You can't go out at night. Having a baby is like a DUI from the universe.