My friends who have babies can't do anything. You can't go out at night. Having a baby is like a DUI from the universe.

My friends who have babies can't do anything. You can't go out at night. Having a baby is like a DUI from the universe.

In L.A., you tend to see a lot of people do very bizarre things. I love it.

I wish his music came out of the closet and admit that it sucks.

The chasm between rich and poor is becoming larger, and I think it's interesting terrain to talk about and expose.

If Jesus had known that his image would end up on Justin Bieber's calf, he would've never started Christianity.

In general, comedians are attracted to vice.