Guys should not be allowed to use the Internet all day long. So sad.

My friends who have babies can't do anything. You can't go out at night. Having a baby is like a DUI from the universe.

Bragging that you had sex with a prostitute is like bragging that you got Doritos out of a vending machine.

Neil Hamburger writes such cutting jokes.

I was raised Catholic in Rockford, Illinois. But I'm not a practicing Catholic anymore. Oh God, no.

There are different types of art, and you just have to follow where things take you. It helps me with my desire to perform live. That's something that a lot of actors and actresses don't get to experience on a regular basis.

I'm not 'one of the guys.' I don't want to pretend to be one on stage. I'm not going to dress like a guy or carry myself like one.