I come from the theater, where I got into acting because I love transforming. I love nothing more than to be unrecognizable.

If you want to be happy in life, consider yourself a student. Every day of your life, think: how can I improve?

I'm always pleased that I managed to stay out of jail throughout my tenure in Chicago.

It's hard to swallow when people say, "Oh my God, you're a master of something." I say, "No, I'm actually a student of that. I could turn you on to websites for 25 masters, and you'll quickly see that I am their disciple."

I learned as a young man that I don't write jokes, but that I can deliver more mundane material and get a laugh. I call myself a humorist.

I have a wonderfully hedonistic appetite, and if I wasn't really strict with myself, I'd weigh 300 pounds. I'm not good with moderation.

I just always had a penchant for performing for people.I'm a jackass clown.