Madame Bovary is the sexiest book imaginable. The woman's virtually a nyphomaniac but you won't find a vulgar word in the entire thing.

I will accept anything in the theatre . . . provided it amuses or moves me. But if it does neither, I want to go home.

Wit ought to be a glorious treat like caviar; never spread it about like marmalade.

We have no reliable guarantee that the afterlife will be any less exasperating than this one, have we?

My life really has been one long extravaganza.

A perfect martini should be made by filling a glass with gin then waving it in the general direction of Italy.

Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the mid-day sun; The Japanese don't care to, the Chinese wouldn't dare to; Hindus and Argentines sleep firmly from twelve to one, But Englishmen detest a siesta.