I have always paid income tax. I object only when it reaches a stage when I am threatened with having nothing left for my old age - which is due to start next Tuesday or Wednesday.

Comedies of manners swiftly become obsolete when there are no longer any manners.

How was your flight? Well, aeronautically it was a great success. Socially, it left quite a bit to be desired.

Many years ago I remember a famous actress explaining to me with perfect seriousness that before making an entrance she always stood aside to allow God to go on first. I can also remember that on that particular occasion He gave a singularly uninspired performance.

Passion in a dromedary doesn't go so deep; a camel when it's mating never sobs itself to sleep.

Having to read footnotes resembles having to go downstairs to answer the door while in the midst of making love.

I also avoid green vegetables. They're grossly overrated.