When I was a little kid I wanted to be Face. I thought, cos I had blond hair and he did too, that when I grew up I'd look like him.

Some people have a fear of being on stage. I have a fear of coming off it.

Imagine that, a poncho sombrero combo, I'll be off my tits on happiness.

When you start, it's not to do with the material so much. It's more to do with how you can control a crowd and make friends with an audience and sell your brand of humor.

You know the black bits in bananas? Are they tarantulas' eggs?

I think I should be in a film called 'Space Shrews'. Where I go to space. With a load of shrews. And nothing really happens. We just get out and have a lolly and then come back. But it'll be a musical the ship will be built out of my own hair.

When I'm 70 I might be a man in a park just wandering around, speaking in tongues with kids throwing bread at me.