We got everythin' we need here. We got Baileys, creamy, and, um... everythin' good. I'll get ya another Baileys

You must have stuck a finger up your arse at least once.

When I was a little kid I always wanted to be ginger. My best friend was ginger and he was pretty cool.

It's very difficult once you've been on telly because people know what you do. They give you a little bit of grace but then they're harsher if you're not funny, so you have to be funny.

Goth Juice... The most powerful hairspray known to man. Made from the tears of Robert Smith.

I could get an audience into my world and if you can do that, they'll go with you not all the way, but a lot of the way.

In comedy, you see yourself as a newcomer and then you realize you've been doing it for 18, 20 years, which is ridiculous.