It's a very odd thing with Hollywood, where you do stand-up, you're good at it, then they go, "How would you like to be a horrible actor?" Then you say, "All right, that sounds good. I'll do that."

A readiness to excuse some faults, shows a disposition to commit others.

The most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do.

I don't really like politics that much. And I like the order and simplicity of sports. They have an ending. You can argue with your friends about it, but in the end you still like sports. I almost love the fantasy world of sports more than the real world.

Man, them engagement rings, boy, they cost a lot. I was looking at 'em. Cost like a thousand bucks, two thousand bucks, y'know. Three thousand bucks. Something like that- four thousand bucks. Big number divisible by a thousand, anyways.

We often suffer more from our fears, than from the dangers of our situation.

The standard of morals is as variable as morals themselves; of which every nation has a different code, and every custom a different reading.