When I started in Canada, I just did stand-up.

Your worst and most dangerous enemy is the person that injures you under the pretensions of friendship.

You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don't care for him.

The beginning of wisdom is the knowledge of folly.

Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite.

I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.

I can't be naturalistic enough to make it sound real. So instead, I just wander around aimlessly knowing that I'll be funny enough with stream of consciousness until I get to the actual explosively funny part.