Hypocrisy is the outward acknowledgment of inward shame.

A suspicious person is the rival of him that deceives, both seem to practice a knowledge of cunning device, and equable sense of disengenuous merit.

I don't have to meet actors. I'm really blessed that I don't have to do all that horseshit.

They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.

It is necessary to be tolerant, in order to be tolerated.

Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion.

I tried to make the punchline as close to the setup as I could. And I thought that was the perfect thing. If I could make the setup and the punchline identical to each other, I would create a different kind of joke.