This is a thing I read by a scientist... it said scientists now say that a man thinks about sex once every 7.3 seconds. Now, I know what I think every 7.3 seconds. It's just a bunch of meaningless gibberish.

He that searches for praise will often find contempt.

I like doing a funny show where I don't have to act and fall in love with a girl.

In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That's what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn't have a stupid opinion about it.

Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there's always beer.

Chastity is oftener owing to diffidence and shame, than to fortitude of reason or virtue.

Were there no fools, there would be no flatterers.