There is a very prevalent tenet with youth, that good company is every thing desirable, and that bad is even better than none.

I've always been very averse to innuendo, especially sexual. I find it cowardly or something.

I don't care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.

The joy a person is usually seen to express at the conversion of another to his opinion is seldom more than the impulse of egotistical satisfaction at being considered worthy of didactic imitation.

In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers we daily escape.

If you're watching a comedian on television and he's making a political point, I would say he's gotten too serious.

There hasn't been an original voice in stand-up since Sam Kinison.