The vanity of being asked advice often makes us confirm the opinion of those that consult us.

I had a show that people thought used a laugh track. It wasn't; it was the real audience going crazy after everything that resembled a joke, that they could technically call a joke.

Pulp Fiction is a, uh, gritty, urban satire. Pump Friction is a uh-uh, a bunch of uh, dudes and ladies having dirty sex.

Imprudent restrictions often force youth farther than enticement would carry them; and careless limitation is frequently worse than no injunction.

A lot of writers come from Harvard and such, and are rich, and they write under the misapprehension that poor people are stupid. So when they do write them, they are hillbillies or rednecks or Christian idiots.

I've shown people Richard Pryor who've never seen him, and most of them don't like him.

Love is an artful arrangement of artless pretensions, whereby we labor to appear innocent in what we desire to be most cunning.