I've just seen really, really funny guys, and if I didn't know them, I wouldn't know they were funny from the television. I don't know what it does, it just sucks it away.

I don't have any ambition.

The praise we seek for our own virtues sometimes tempts us to flatter the imperfections of other men.

I've been in theaters. Like Brian Regan, who I love - loved him so much more when he did the Improvs. And then in a big theater - nobody's that good.

There's no such thing, of course, as an old-fashioned gay guy. They're the most decadent people.

I don't care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.

You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don't care for him.