I went to a hypnotist. He put me under a spell, and every time I had a craving for a cigarette, I would throw up. It's very embarrassing right after sex. I find it pretty hard to get that second date after that. Girls get all snobby after you barf on them.
Norm MacDonaldIn terms of merit, sports has mathematical statistics. That's how you know who the best player is.
Norm MacDonaldYour worst and most dangerous enemy is the person that injures you under the pretensions of friendship.
Norm MacDonaldFew are more unhappy than those who have great ambition, but little energy to urge it into activity.
Norm MacDonald