I don't know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it's fun to watch either one of them get beat up.

Back in the old days, a man could just get sick and die. Now they have to wage a battle. So my Uncle Bert is waging a courageous battle, which I've seen, because I go and visit him. And this is the battle: he's lying in the hospital bed, with a thing in his arm, watching Matlock on the TV.

We advise others better than ourselves.

I got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you're all right. I don't have to go to premières.

In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers we daily escape.

I don't have to meet actors. I'm really blessed that I don't have to do all that horseshit.

They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.