I don't know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it's fun to watch either one of them get beat up.

The promises we break are usually such as we are most forward in making.

Compared to politics, I think sports is funnier, because it's inconsequential. And politics can be real important and all that. The more pointless something is, the funnier it is, you know? And the more grave or important things are... You know, some comedians can get this disease where they get serious all the time.

Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite.

Happiness is less regulated by external circumstances than inward enjoyment. Whoever is happy in the satisfaction of himself feels imperturbable felicity; but he, who trusts entirely to the world for the disposition of his peace, must inevitably participate [in] many privations and disappointments.

Though you may be last to discover your follies, be always first to correct them.

There is a very prevalent tenet with youth, that good company is every thing desirable, and that bad is even better than none.