All kinds of violence on the TV. You're not supposed to watch violence on the TV. Children, they can't watch it 'cause they're afraid maybe the kids will copy something they see on the TV. I can't even get a funny cartoon anymore because some 12-year-old somewhere watched a particularly violent episode of the Road Runner-Coyote show, and the next day, they found him at the bottom of a canyon, two giant springs strapped to his feet.

I've always been very averse to innuendo, especially sexual. I find it cowardly or something.

There are two indiscretions that generally distinguish fools: a readiness to report whatever they hear, and a practice of communicating with secrecy what is commonly understood.

Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite.

Generally I don't like traveling around saying the exact same thing. I don't think that's a very good thing to do with your life.

I'm not original, but I strive toward it as much as possible. I tried really hard on Weekend Update to do something that I considered original, which was, I tried to cut all cleverness out of the joke.

Imprudent restrictions often force youth farther than enticement would carry them; and careless limitation is frequently worse than no injunction.