I can't be naturalistic enough to make it sound real. So instead, I just wander around aimlessly knowing that I'll be funny enough with stream of consciousness until I get to the actual explosively funny part.

If you're watching a comedian on television and he's making a political point, I would say he's gotten too serious.

There is a very prevalent tenet with youth, that good company is every thing desirable, and that bad is even better than none.

They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.

I just like doing standup, that's all I'm interested in or good at.

I'm happy doing stand-up, but I'll probably do a television show eventually. If not, I'll delve into this Internet world and decide best how to harness it. What I like best about it is the independent movie style and the ability to just be completely reckless within that world. I like that a lot. I just have to acquaint myself with technology.

None seem to bear the imputation of supposed guilt with greater intolerance than such as are, on other occasions, obviously culpable of vice or crime.