Your worst and most dangerous enemy is the person that injures you under the pretensions of friendship.

In giving advice, aptitude is often less to be considered, than seasonableness.

I don't care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.

Few are more unhappy than those who have great ambition, but little energy to urge it into activity.

Richard Pryor is my favorite stand-up ever.

Louis [C.K.] is great. But I don't know how many you could do.

My dad died, and my grandfather died, and my great-grandfather died. And the guy before him, I don't know. Probably died.