The most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do.

The only two TV shows I saw do that, where they don't warm them up and you can really bomb, was Saturday Night Live - and that's why it gets a lot of heat, too. Obviously it gets criticism fairly, too. But a lot of it is because Lorne [Michaels] lets the audience decide and doesn't force them to laugh.

Proper respect to others is the most prudent rule of directing the measure of reverence due to ourselves.

The joy a person is usually seen to express at the conversion of another to his opinion is seldom more than the impulse of egotistical satisfaction at being considered worthy of didactic imitation.

A capacity for hating the object of desire is, perhaps, the best cure for love in cases of disappointment.

I tried to make the punchline as close to the setup as I could. And I thought that was the perfect thing. If I could make the setup and the punchline identical to each other, I would create a different kind of joke.

Few are more unhappy than those who have great ambition, but little energy to urge it into activity.