[sam] Kinison, when he started out, he'd come to Canada when I was first starting, and he'd always [bomb].

I'm thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.

If you're looking for the suspect in a suicide bombing, here's a clue: Look for the dead guy.

I've seen people in theaters, and it just doesn't work, because you're talking to the guy next to you the whole time.

Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion.

A suspicious person is the rival of him that deceives, both seem to practice a knowledge of cunning device, and equable sense of disengenuous merit.

During misfortunes, nothing aggravates our condition more, than to be esteemed deserving of them.