I have always loved Las Vegas. It's a traditional place for lounge comics to perform, and I love that.

Few people love with the violence they hate.

All my life's about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn't cost very much money.

Happiness is less regulated by external circumstances than inward enjoyment. Whoever is happy in the satisfaction of himself feels imperturbable felicity; but he, who trusts entirely to the world for the disposition of his peace, must inevitably participate [in] many privations and disappointments.

Were there no fools, there would be no flatterers.

I don't know anything about politics. Like, zero. Nothing.

Few are more unhappy than those who have great ambition, but little energy to urge it into activity.