Though you may be last to discover your follies, be always first to correct them.

There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion.

Some people are so much afraid of being deceived, that they never venture to trust; like misers, their avarice destroys their gain.

You can't love your team without hating another team.

Man, them engagement rings, boy, they cost a lot. I was looking at 'em. Cost like a thousand bucks, two thousand bucks, y'know. Three thousand bucks. Something like that- four thousand bucks. Big number divisible by a thousand, anyways.

I want you to buy this pit bull. This will protect your valuables.' I don't own anything very valuable. If I buy the pit bull, that would be the most valuable thing I own. I'd have to buy something to protect it then.

When people told the audience that [Sam Kinison] was good, he was accepted after that.