The man that does not fear punishment, little regards crime.

Kenny G has a Christmas album out this year. Hey, happy birthday Jesus! Hope you like crap!

Jealousy seldom punishes with the severity it suffers.

I've been offered political shows before, and I don't know anything about politics and I feel uncomfortable making political opinions - there's consequences to them. I often think I'm wrong, so I really don't like getting in political or religious discussions because of the giant possibility that I might be wrong.

I don't have any ego about it, but I find there's not a great work ethic in show business. A lot of people are in it to make money, and coming from stand-up, you have to work so hard because almost nothing works, and if you lose the audience for three minutes, you're dead.

Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it's the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.

I never do impressions, but I probably should. People like that stuff.