There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion.

Hypocrisy is the outward acknowledgment of inward shame.

Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite.

I don't know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it's fun to watch either one of them get beat up.

None seem to bear the imputation of supposed guilt with greater intolerance than such as are, on other occasions, obviously culpable of vice or crime.

There's no such thing, of course, as an old-fashioned gay guy. They're the most decadent people.

I never do impressions, but I probably should. People like that stuff.