When people told the audience that [Sam Kinison] was good, he was accepted after that.

The beginning of wisdom is the knowledge of folly.

I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.

It is often better to be restricted to necessity than unconfined in the measure of our desires: prosperity destroys more individuals than adversity ruins.

If you desire praise or esteem, endeavor to merit it.

They're like ''You're an alcoholic.'' I go ''No, I'm not.'' and then-apparently that's what alcoholics say too, you know?

I sort of have open invitations from a lot of people to do TV. But it's very hard for me to do roles in sitcoms and movies because I'm not a great actor, so if the material isn't good, I'm in torment while I do it.