You ever see 'The Dating Game'? That's a weird game show. The prize on that show: another contestant. Talk about cheap.

I started on 'Saturday Night Live' the same time Conan started on 'Late Night.' We just had a relationship because I would be upstairs in the studio and whenever he couldn't get a guest - which was often back then since he was just starting out - he would just call me down to be a guest.

Women of no beauty may yet be flattered to believe they possess some; others of a moderate share that they have a great deal; but those of elegance and charm generally know the perfection of their external graces so well, that they seem to covet that flattery most which heightens the opinion of their wit and judgment.

If you desire praise or esteem, endeavor to merit it.

Enjoyment inflames love in some men, and extinguishes it in others: the wind that assists large vessels, upsets small ones.

The praise we seek for our own virtues sometimes tempts us to flatter the imperfections of other men.

When I started in Canada, I just did stand-up.