Enjoyment inflames love in some men, and extinguishes it in others: the wind that assists large vessels, upsets small ones.

In love, we are best pleased when we please others.

[sam] Kinison, when he started out, he'd come to Canada when I was first starting, and he'd always [bomb].

Scientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter's moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.

I'm thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.

I'm happy doing stand-up, but I'll probably do a television show eventually. If not, I'll delve into this Internet world and decide best how to harness it. What I like best about it is the independent movie style and the ability to just be completely reckless within that world. I like that a lot. I just have to acquaint myself with technology.

I don't know anything about politics. Like, zero. Nothing.