If you're looking for the suspect in a suicide bombing, here's a clue: Look for the dead guy.

The character of giving advice often makes us accountable for the conduct of those we advise.

You can't love your team without hating another team.

I'm not original, but I strive toward it as much as possible. I tried really hard on Weekend Update to do something that I considered original, which was, I tried to cut all cleverness out of the joke.

I got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you're all right. I don't have to go to premières.

I don't really like politics that much. And I like the order and simplicity of sports. They have an ending. You can argue with your friends about it, but in the end you still like sports. I almost love the fantasy world of sports more than the real world.

Your worst and most dangerous enemy is the person that injures you under the pretensions of friendship.